And why Lego’s are my nemesis…
I can’t tell you the last time I’ve decided to re-read a book I’ve already read – just because…… (referencing them doesn’t count). But I decided to pick up the book “Radical Acceptance ” by Tara Brach, Ph.D., after I ordered it for a friend (orignially couldn’t find my copy to lend her…meant to be maybe?). When I received the copy I ordered for her, sure enough, I found my copy. This book was recommended to me when I was going through a difficult time in my life. It was a big help then, but I’m amazed at how much more I resonate with its messages. One of which is learning to pause.
I was literally just reading about this last night when I was able to put this into practice with my son. I’m obviously not the most objective person when it comes to my kids, but my son is really one of the sweetest kids I know (and he makes me laugh). But when it comes to Lego’s – he seems to forget that the world outside of what he’s doing even exists (which by the way I’m thrilled that he loves playing with them…it’s just his choice of when he plays with them).
Like many other parents, we’re usually scrambling in the morning to get ready and get out of the house. Yesterday morning I went in to check and see if he was getting changed. He got halfway there…..but decided he needed to sit on the floor naked and assemble something! Normal mom reaction…”What are you doing? Get dressed, we have to leave…blah, blah, blah..”. After going out to dinner with family last night we have the normal “I took a shower first LAST night…” between both kids (because of course it’s absolute punishment to get clean). After about 10 minutes of hearing the water running I go into the bathroom to make sure he’s washed his hair…..but he’s standing naked at the counter PLAYING WITH THE LEGO’S he wanted to take INTO the shower! Fiteen minutes later I decide to tell him to pick up the pace as I want some hot water for a bath later and he’s sitting on the floor IN the shower…playing with Lego’s!! He got a little smarter this morning….he got his pants on and shut the door to his room….and played with Lego’s!
My opportunity to pause came this morning when I opened his bedroom door and saw him sitting on the floor with his Lego’s. Much like Tara Brach says in “Radical Acceptance”, practicing pausing makes it easier and easier (fortunately my kids have given me lots of practice!). As opposed to flying off the handle, I took a minute (probably seconds) and just looked at him. “Sorry, sorry”, he says, jumping up to finish getting ready. All I could do was smile at him. As I was able to pause (even if it was brief), I felt a huge sense of gratitude that he had something he loved doing SO much that he could completely get lost in it. So, needless to say, nemesis or not, the Lego’s are here for a while!