If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

I have to say right off the bat that I am by no means qualified to give any way, shape or form of professional self help advice. This is really more about my own personal life lessons and what has worked for me. No doubt this will change over time because as much as I’d like to think I’ve learned plenty, the more I seem to learn the more I realize how much I STILL have to learn (that was kind of a mouthful, huh?). The beauty of realizing this though is that I get much less panicked about these life lessons, and they don’t make quite as big of a dent into the everyday workings of my life. You’ll have to forgive me if I’m a little trite with some of these life lessons. But, as it turns out, many of the sayings that seem so trite have been around for a long time for a reason.

When I began this journey into the self help arena, I was much younger and while I had my share of ups and downs, life was pretty status quo and I didn’t have many complaints. Initially I got completely absorbed by all of the motivational speakers and authors. I worked in a bookstore, so it was kind of like a kid in a candy store. It’s funny now, because most of that stuff just seems SO exhausting…….I’m not knocking it. To each his own. Let’s just say I took the fork in the road.

I honestly don’t remember what the first book was that made me shift directions- but I’m sure it was something by Wayne Dyer (it may have even been You Erroneous Zones….which was nothing like the books he writes today. Really more of a psychological/self help book. I would say his work today is primarily spiritual). ANYWHO….. what I do remember is that I felt a lot lighter when I was done reading it, as opposed to feeling like I had to set up some sort of system or go make charts with goals (and then sub-goals, etc). I’m not knocking goals either- I have my fair share of goals today. The difference is that I’m more relaxed about when I get there….which of course makes it seem like I arrive at them quicker. Go figure.

It’s interesting- when I graduated from high school we were able to put a senior quote in the yearbook next to our pictures. I still remember what I chose as I can remember exactly where I heard it and that it made a huge impact on me at 17. It just took me until now to really get it…..“Success is not the destination, but the quality of the journey”.

Life Lesson #1….YOU have the answer

If I had known this sooner, I certainly could have saved myself a lot of grief. But I don’t think I would have appreciated it as much as I did when I finally got this one.  I remember during a session with my therapist once that she pointed this out as well- but I still had a long way to go before it sunk in.

She knew me pretty well and knew that I read a lot of different authors (self help/spiritual) and said to me once that I kept looking for the answers outside of myself (and I was…maybe THIS book or THIS message will be IT) and that I needed to start looking within. At the time I sort of thought “ok, whatever……”.  But of course…. she was right.

It took getting through one of the longest, most difficult years of my life to get me out of this “cloud”- for lack of a better word. I had gotten to a point where I didn’t trust the decisions I was making and was almost immobilized for fear of screwing something up. After I couldn’t beat myself up anymore than I already had, I realized that allowing decisions to be made for me wasn’t the answer either and I basically got pissed off.  I had never considered myself to be the type of person who felt sorry for themselves and when I got angry I sort of felt like I had cold water thrown in my face. Enough already.

In choosing to trust myself again I have been able to accomplish more in a shorter period of time than I can ever remember. The ironic thing about that though is that I’m not even sure of the destination yet- because I’m SO caught up in the journey. It’s a great place to be.

LIfe Lesson #2- It is better to be Kind than to be Right…

This is absolutely one of my favorite sayings. I used to use this with my husband all the time. As much as I’d like to think I’ve mastered this one, I do think it will take a lifetime to have this be something that I don’t have to consciously think about when I’m making the choice to be kind as opposed to being right.

I’m sure anyone who has ever had to make sure they were “right”- can remember the look on the face of the person they were proving wrong. And although there may be times when you think, “Yeah, but they deserved it”  or “Well, you don’t know so & so….”.  But really, does it matter? I’m not talking about little corrections- I’m talking about the times when it’s more important for you to prove your point than it is for you to consider someone else’s feelings. And trust me, after you’ve swallowed your pride and pushed aside your ego, keeping your mouth shut and taking a deep breath feels like a win too. Only now you’ve stopped keeping score…

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • StumbleUpon
  • TwitThis