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It’s official…I think. I’m actually getting better at meditating (which doesn’t even quite sound right…are you supposed to get ‘better’ at meditating, or do you just allow it? hmmm…). I don’t think I would go so far as to say I’m completely reaping the benefits yet, but I’ve started to notice that my ability to be still and relax into the moment, not feeling uncomfortable with the silence or lack of “doing” is getting better. I have been listening to the recording I mentioned in an earlier post almost daily, but now when I’m doing it, I’m ONLY doing that (I tried listening to it while I was doing pilates….let me tell you- those were some LONG pauses!). I know listening to a recorded meditation while I’m ‘doing’ something sort of defeats the purpose- but I think that was part of my process in getting to where I’m at. Clearly I choose to learn things the hard way….well maybe not hard, but harder. The beauty is that those ‘harder’ lessons seem to be happening much less.

I think like many other people, I really over thought meditation and tried to make it more difficult that it was. The meditation I had recorded and listened to was done a couple of years ago with this person to calm my nerves (I was feeling very anxious/nervous at the time…don’t remember why). I was in awe at how I could feel such a huge difference physically- I had always thought meditation was more of a mental thing, obviously it’s both.

I just finished another book by Dr. Brian Weiss- which really encouraged my decision to begin meditating- for as long as it takes, to reach whatever state I’m supposed to. Whether or not I reach some of the states he mentions in his book is irrelevant- for now I’m just enjoying how I feel.

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